A Warning To Married Men

Warning...before the warning:

This blog will not be pretty. It won't make you feel good. It's a venting technique for me right now. I am sure it will morph over time, but for right now - it's a way to get my feelings out there. This blog will be about affairs and the process a couple goes through right after it all comes out in the open. (Well, not all of it - honestly, who wants to know all of it? Even if you think you do...you don't).

So, this first post isn't going to be a straight-up history of Danielle and I. Of course, some explanation will have to happen, but overall this will be what the title says: a warning to all married men.

This isn't a warning about affairs.

This is a warning to let you know, if you are married, if you have taken the vows to have and to hold, through sickness and health, as long as you both shall live - if you have taken vows to love your wife forever - then DO IT. Stand up and do it. 

Some tips:

• Stop wanting your way.
• It's not about just you any more. It never should have been. From the moment you two started dating, it was about both of you. The moment you got engaged, it solidified that it wasn't just about you any more. And the second you got married - you as a man should have given over your heart and soul to love her. To please her. To make her happy. No matter what. No matter if she doesn't seem to do the same for you, you still have a responsibility to cherish her, and to take care of her. You still have a responsibility to honor her, to desire her, to want the absolute best for her. Stop wanting everything to go your way. 

•  Stop taking her for granted.
• This one usually affects those of us who have been married for a while. She is right there beside us every step of the way, and at some point - we take it as a given that she always will be. Well, she will be if you treat her the way she deserves to be treated (see some of the above.) Love her unconditionally - like Christ does the Church (His bride). Talk to her. Find common interests. Because, if you don't - she can leave. Any second. And the hurt you will feel after that isn't worth you not taking care of her the first time around. Stop taking your wife for granted. She is worth the whole world - don't make the mistake I made and realize that only after she's gone.

• Stop hurting her - emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.*
• Sometimes she will say hurtful things to you. Sometimes she will do hurtful things to you. It will feel natural to say and/or do hurtful things back to her. Stop it. It is never all right to hurt another person.  "Well, I want them to feel how they made me feel." If that statement is your thought - well now, you just started playing a game. And this game never ends. And it gets ugly. The things that are done/said in those moments - they're never forgotten. They can be forgiven - but they're never forgotten.

So, my warning is - if you value your wife at all, and you should seeing as you took a vow in front of God and man saying you place her above everything except Him, guard her heart. If you don't, someone else will.

Take care of her.
Love her.
Desire her.
Love her.
Honor her.
Be kind to her.
Set her apart in your heart and mind - for she is holy.
Love her.
Be intimate with her.
Love her.
Show her how much she means to you.
Pursue her.
Fight for her.
Love her.

Like I said - if you don't do the above things, someone else will. And the hurt you will experience - it can be prevented. Just love her.

*I assume physical abuse isn't happening. If it is - that is a whole different topic of discussion. If you, as a man, are physically abusing your wife - seek help. And, by all means, stop it.